At MonDevices, it’s our continued mission to improve quality of life through wearable technology. As part of it, we’re always working to help new parents better understand the danger of SIDS and what they can do to reduce their baby’s risk. This week, we turned to Meagen Gries, an Ohio mom who lost her daughter to SIDS. Meagen bravely agreed to share her story with us.

Megan, tell us a bit about yourself and your story.

My name is Meagen Gries. I am the mother of two children- one living, and one not. Owen is now two years old and a little, red headed ball of energy. Ever since he was little he’s kept us busy and made us work! We’ve loved every minute of it, but he’s a lot to handle!

When he was a year and a half old we found out we were pregnant with Molly. The following February, our perfect little girl was born. Eight pounds, six ounces of perfection.

From the moment she came into this world she was an easy baby. Where we had to rock Owen to help him fall asleep, we could lay Molly down and she would easily drift off. She loved everyone, but especially her big brother.

I am a teacher and was fortunate enough to be able to take ten weeks off of work after Molly was born. It was the most wonderful and exhausting ten weeks of my life. Adjusting to life with two children was intense and challenging and so much better than I ever dreamed it would be.

From the moment I brought Molly home, she and Owen would both lite up when they saw each other. Watching these two little people that my husband and I created interact and love on each other was incredible.

When it was time to return to work, I hated to leave my babies, but knew I was leaving them in capable and loving hands. Our sitter Charlotte had become a part of our family and we all looked at her as our children’s third grandmother.

That morning, I dropped Owen and Molly off with a bag full of extra clothes, blankets, sippy cups, bottles, swaddle sacks and everything else they might need for the day. I got to work and got myself busy right away with a class full of six year olds.

Lunch time rolled around and I sat down to eat lunch and pump. I noticed a text message from Charlotte but it came through blank- with no actual message. I wrote her back assuming she had tried to send a picture. The response I got simply said “call me.”

With those two words, my stomach dropped. I dialed her number and when she answered, she was sobbing. It took her a minute to tell me that she put Molly down for a nap, went up an hour later to find her not breathing and the ambulance had taken her to the children’s hospital.

I dropped everything, grabbed my bag and sprinted out the door. I called my husband on the way. He was three hours away and on his drive back from a fishing trip. He told me to take a deep breath, not assume what had happened and get myself there safely. So that’s what I did.

When I got to the hospital, that all came to a crashing halt.

I was met by the hospital’s social worker, who quickly and calmly ushered me into a private room. Even at that moment I refused to believe anything terrible was happening….until the emergency room doctors walked in, and they were crying.

They spoke quickly and told me ‘Molly came in unresponsive. We tried CPR for 30 minutes but were unable to get a pulse,’ and they turned and left. And just like that, in a tiny room, sitting on an uncomfortable gray couch, my world came crashing down.

They brought me into another room where I sat in a rocking chair and a nurse carried in my baby. She was swaddled in a blanket and appeared to be sleeping and was miserably cold. I’ll never forget that feeling.

I later learned that Charlotte had decided to put Molly upstairs for a nap because she was past the point of exhaustion, cranky and needed sleep and her older brother was preventing that from happening with his incessant hugs and kisses. So Charlotte put her in a swaddle sack and placed her in a pack and play upstairs away from the other kids.

She placed her along the side of the crib, as I had instructed her to do because Molly slept better there. It made her feel more secure. When she returned an hour later to check on her, Molly had somehow found her way to her stomach and was blue.

Had you ever heard about sudden infant death before your child passed away?

Sadly, yes. Our neighbor in our last home lost her grandson to SIDS just a few years ago. After that and since having a child, I had read about it a lot.

What is the most important thing you’ve learned about SIDS/SUID that you didn’t know before you started your own research of this topic? Why is it important?

The most important thing I’ve learned is that we can do everything we can to reduce the risks of SIDS, but we cannot prevent it. That is both infuriating and comforting.

For a while I got carried away with “If only I had…” “I should’ve told her…” “If I’d stayed home longer…” but the more I read, the more I realized it may have not even mattered. I followed all the rules, did everything I was supposed to and it didn’t make a difference.

For parents who are expecting or have a newborn, what should they know about safe sleep or proper parental care?

I know when we have another child, I will continue to practice safe sleep. While I also know it may not prevent this from happening again, I know that this was the worst experience of my whole life and if there is anything I can do to reduce the chances of it happening again, I’m going to do it.

Since losing a child, how have you connected with other parents who had the same experience?

I have. Shortly after losing Molly, a few moms reached out to me for support. I really bonded with one of them, and it has been life-saving. Having someone else to talk to who knows exactly what I’m feeling and what to say/not to say has meant more to me than I could’ve ever imagined.

Are you involved in any initiatives or groups to raise awareness for SIDS?

Not much, yet. After we lost Molly, I connected with the daughter of our neighbor who had lost a grandson. After her son passed away, she started a foundation to support families who had lost babies to SIDS.

I called her looking for emotional support. She then turned around, called our funeral home and took care of everything financially. I called her back and through tears said “that’s not why I called you,” and she responded with “I know. But no one should ever had to pay to bury their baby.”

Our plan is to honor Molly’s life by supporting this foundation and other foundations like it. It’s not right that this keeps happening. It feels outrageous. I can’t understand why more isn’t being done.

I feel panicked when I think about it and realize that it’s not over. More babies are going to die. More families are going to be slammed with heartbreak. I don’t know what the answer is, but I sure as hell hope someone figures it out soon.

Have you lost a child to SIDS? Share your story with us here.